Jackson Five?
October 24th, 2006 by
mike d.
in
Features
Please take a close look at the album cover below.
This is the album Back to Indiana & Looking Through Windows, which, in addition to being a mildly creepy title, has six people on the front.
Six. not Five.
So who is this ellusive sixth Jackson?
the jacksone 5 are probably made up of 6 members and thats just Randy Jackson. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Category:Jackson_5_members
He really wasnt good so and tito sucked so they each were only 0.5 of a jackson hense the 5
I believe the correct technical term is “one demi-Jackson”.
Ok, so I saw the name Randy Jackson and thought “the guy from American Idol?”. So I read the wikipedia link and found out that no, not the same guy. However, I went on to read about the Randy Jackson from American Idol:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Randy_Jackson
and get this: He was the bass player for none other than…. Journey!!! from 1985-1987. Mike D, did you know about this?!
Whoa!!! I did NOT know this.
When I first read your comment I was faced with two choices. I could:
a) respect American Idol more
b) respect Journey less
Immediately I realized that Journey, being infinite in its awesomeness, can’t really be disrespected by ANYTHING. So the fact that Journey is STILL awesome despite having a former member take part in the entertainment hype of American Idol… makes me respect Journey MORE with no change in my respect (read: disrespect) for American Idol.
This revelation leads me to Mike D’s Theory of Journey and the Preservation of Majesty
Mike D’s Theory of Journey and the Preservation of Majesty
For every action directly or indirectly involving Journey there is an incremental change to the majesty of Journey that is equal to the absolute value of the general population’s reaction, times a constant k.
Example:
Journey’s former bassist is involved with American Idol.
Population’s reaction = disgust
k*|disgust|= majesty
Journey + majesty = an increase in awesomness.
While I haven’t figured out exactly what the multiplier ‘k’ is equal to, I think it has something to do with Avogadro’s number.
I operate at a REALLY small level of coolness already, but then I go and do something like damage coworkers’ hearing with loudspeaker Maiden, and that shread of awesome is gone. Where’d it go?
I’ll tell you where:
Sander’s Rule of Transference of Glory
JOURNEY got it.
Every time someone falls from grace a little, Journey gets that much more radical. I personally have been responsible for their doubling their quotient of coolness over the last week. Rock on!