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      Auto post: Chopsticks

      July 25th, 2006 by mike d. in china

      currently eating: tofu noodles

      The other night as I was eating some hot pot, I struggled with my chopsticks momentarily as I de-skinned a shrimp.

      Immediately, one of the highly attentive, highly attractive, table assistants zipped over and placed a knife and fork at my placemat.

      I sighed a sigh of relief. YES! REAL UTENSILES! Get a clue China! Chopsticks are of the past!

      So I gleefully picked up my sharp shiny tools and immediately became enlightened…

      Knifes and forks are completely static tools. Nothing more than stabby sticks with which we pitchfork our food and stuff our faces. Chopsticks are not a utensile of the past. nay. Chopsticks are dynamic forceps, graceful and alive. With chopsticks, I can manipulate and grip my food.

      I put down the fork with disgust and returned to the chopsticks. Chopsticks are my new utensile of choice.

      Authored by: mike d.

      Joke

      July 25th, 2006 by mike d. in Quickthoughts, Humor

      A man runs to the doctor and says “Doctor! you’ve gotta help me! My wife think’s she’s a chicken!”
      The doctor asks, “how long has she had this condition?”
      “two years.”
      “What!?! why didn’t you come to see me earlier!”
      The man shurgged his soulders and replied “We needed the eggs”

      A man runs to the doctor and says “Doctor! you’ve gotta help me! My wife think’s she’s a chicken!”

      The doctor asks, “how long has she had this condition?”

      “two years.”

      “What!?! why didn’t you come to see me earlier!”

      The man shurgged his soulders and replied “We needed the eggs”

      Authored by: mike d.

      DEFY S. McQUAID! #75: Curves Again

      July 25th, 2006 by smcquaid in Features, Smcquaid

      circle!

      The Question

      Shaun McQuaid, who is never afraid, don’t be delayed or I’ll be dismayed. ..

      How much money could one save in gas by always staying to the inside of a curve by shifting lanes while driving on the highway? I’m not looking for an exact value, just a relative comparison between always on the outside of a curve, the middle, and always on the inside. You can ignore traffic and assume that all lanes are equal speed.

      Yer Pal,
      Jesse

      The Answer

      Let’s make a lovely little “perfect” world. In our perfect world, Boston is at the exact center of a half circle inscribed by Rte. 495 in Massachusetts. In real life, we’ll use I-495 from the intersection of I-93 in Andover, MA to the north, and I-495’s intersection with Rte. 24 in the south. This allows for an almost (meaning not really at all) perfect half-circle around Boston. Using I-90 as the diameter line, we discover that the radius of our circle is 27.5 miles, or 145200 feet.

      The plan is simple - we will inscribe 2 circles, one on the “inner” lane of this simplified route, and one on the outer lane. According to my research, the most common lane width is 12 feet. Let’s assume a 3-lane highway - so, the “inner” lane has a radius of 145200 feet and the outer lane adds 24 feet to that total - 145224.

      Calculating the perimeter of the circle will give us the distance traveled in each lane. Perimeter of a circle is calculated via 2 * (pi) * r, so a half circle is simple: (pi) * r. (For our estimation, pi is estimated at 3.14159).

      Inner lane distance: 86.39 miles
      Outer lane distance: 86.41 miles

      Assuming 30 miles per gallon in your vehicle, this means:

      Inner lane gas used: 2.879 gallons
      Outer lane gas used: 2.880 gallons

      So, in essence, by travelling only in the inner lane, you would save 0.001 gallons of gas. (Because of the tiny amount here, I ignored the “middle” lane and stuck with the right and left only).

      Not quite as exciting as expected, is it?

      Authored by: smcquaid
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