In honor of the new X-men movie which is coming out this summer I figured I’d fire up a list of mikedidonato readers (occasional and faithful alike) and what I think their mutant super-power should be. If I left you out don’t feel bad, just throw a comment up and I will fix the mistake.
JonAbad: could breath fire and paralyze enemies at will
Kurt: could digest anything/everything including metal and rock
Ben: could put his hands on the ground and cause the earth to shake in British rock rhythms
TimBaird: could remove the life force from vegetation and use it to turn plants into stainless steel
Patrick: could use his inner ear as a GPS system and his feet would have natural cleats
Roland: would have super speed accompanied by go go gadget arms
Alicia: could breath laser beams in psychedelic colors
Theresa: could manifest spheres of chocolate (diameters up to 4 meters)
My mom: could absorb pain from others and then release it as a ball of fire from her palms
Jesse: could burrow really well into the earth… and hide there for days living off the Earth’s heat.
Jesse’s mom: could turn water into Listerine and would possess a super strong floss whip.
Alicia P’s mom: could resurrect roadkill
Infinity: would be able to form extremely complicated origami structures out of post-it notes in the blink of an eye
Becky: could speak to animals and get them to follow her command
Paul: nothing creative here. He’d simply be Spiderman.
ShaunMcQuaid: could hold his hands into the air and summon meteors
Tom: could decrystalize solids at will
Mykal: could create a shockwave of justice (I don’t know what this means, but it’d be awesome)
Sander: could turn protein and complex carbohydrates into animal fat
Aaron: could make his elbows glow yellow or red (not very useful… but a GREAT party trick)
Shamus: would have an unnatural ability to perform pull-ups, Lats of steel
RyanSchenk: would have unbreakable limbs and blood of Kool Aid
Ruth: could summon an army of lost souls to do her bidding
Jocelyn: could give people dreams of her choice
Adam: could manifest warm and cold fronts
Walid: could turn any food into mashed potatoes at will
Liz: could create controlled waves of force and aim them with remarkable precision
Kate from Ohio: could draw temporary lines of color in the air with her fingers
Tyler: could intercept and transmit radio waves thus broadcasting his thoughts over FM radio
Bisol: would be able to use his saliva as super glue (his mouth would have to be resistant for this to work)
Caitlin: could microwave objects with her brainwaves
JesAbad: could animate inanimate objects
Marian: could hold her fists in the air and create electromagnetic storms
Mike G: would be able to disassociate electrons from a gas and create laboratory grade plasmas
Pam C: could jump super-high and absorb adrenalin from those around her
Ian: would have armor like Master Chief
JillDeTeso: would be able to whip her arms around her and cause a fury of volcanic explosions and eruptions around her
TedBreen: could absorb energy from static electricity and use it to power small appliances by touch
JoeHavelick: could adjust his body chemistry so that he could be eternally high
Abby: could clap her hands together and have all speakers within a half mile start playing “Eye of the Tiger”
James: could clench his fists and will the death of adorable animals
Annie Olives: could squeeze happiness out of rocks, form it into a cotton candy consistency, and distribute it to eager children everywhere
JesSaint: could generate freckles on her skin or other people’s skin in any shape she wished (not un-like a magnadoodle)
Anita Clue: would be inexplicably good at accomplishing the orange side of rubix cube
Authored by:
mike d.