The Acclaim to Fame hit 177,000 miles this morning.

well done Acclaim to Fame! 23,000 to go!

The ‘backup car’ plan is moving forward! Provided all works out with the salvaged title information, I will be purchasing Jocelyn’s white ‘97 Nissan Altima within the next month or so.

Don’t worry, this is not the end of the Acclaim to Fame. This second vehicle will serve as a means for me to do repairs on the Acclaim when she suffers without the stress of needing to borrow a car, or bum rides off my friends.

The problem is, I need a name for the new car. Something powerful and definitive like Kurt’s THE DIVA, Shaun McQuaid’s BLACKHOLE, or Sander’s THE CHARIOT. Something that works best when capitalized.

Right now I’m thinking THE DICTATOR.
or THE NISSAN ALTIMAMA. (THE ALTIMAMA for short)

other ideas include:
IRON WHEEL.
THE TITAN.
THE SCORPION.
STEEL JUSTICE.

your suggestions and comments are welcome!

Dance Dance Revolution is a game that I was only recently exposed to.

Let it be known, that it is perhaps the single most exciting game on Earth.

Gentle Readers:

This week, as the Power behind “Defy S. McQuaid” has dictated, we witness a bit of a diversion from the usual Question/Answer format.

In this installment, S. McQuaid will answer a question posed BY himself TO himself. Prepare yourself.

The Question

Word on the street has it - S. McQuaid used to work at McDonald’s during the Golden Age of the mid-90’s. True? And if so, what items of culinary mastery were created that can no longer be acquired at the local Golden Arches?

The Answer

Yes, it is true. During my tenure at the town McDonald’s, cheeseburgers flew fast and furious. Grill items were prepared with enthusiasm and correctness at blazing speed. The “Black Hole” (the first car I ever owned, a 1985 Chrysler New Yorker, black, and it TALKED) was in full operation. And Sean Connery often answered consumers at the drive-thru speaker. (Note the clever mis-spelling of “Drive Thru” - that’s the way it is spelled on all McDonald’s internal literature).

But none of this bears on the second part of the question - what food items were created?

The proper question is, what food items were NOT created?

Let’s first examine the items that were on the menu at the time, but are no longer available. The first, and most important item, is the Arch Deluxe.

A breathtaking arrangement of meat, vegetables, and soft roll, the Arch Deluxe was marketed as the “Grown-up burger”. Definitely one of my favorite burgers to create (and consume), the Arch Deluxe was a masterwork of bacon, spices, meat, and special sauce. I won’t go into the details of the production of this beast, but if you are curious, there is an extensive Wikipedia article available: Arch Deluxe of Power

Also during this time frame, the McDonald’s Fajita was in full swing.

The fajita was fabulous - chewy yet tender, a taste unable to be characterized. And to think, as part of my morning routine, I created over a HUNDRED fajitas in less than 10 minutes. No lie. The fajita came with both Hot and Mild Picante sauce, and, in a series of independent taste tests undertaken several years back by myself and some compatriots, the Mild Picante sauce and a Small Coke were chosen as the Top Ranked Food Items at the local McDonald’s in Worcester. That tells you just how kicking the sauce was. (Details of this taste survey, which covered the main fast food establishments in the Worcester area, may be revealed at a later date).

And how can we forget The McRib?

A slab of meat, deboned, then processed into a moldable medium, and finally shaped to appear as if it actually had bones. But it didn’t. Soaked in tasty barbeque sauce and served with real onions, the McRib was always a huge seller. And, if you accidentally drop a McRib meat-shape into a fryalator, NOTHING HAPPENS. The McRib is impervious to hot oil, and does not even deign to interact with it. Freaky.

Dozens of culinary masterpieces were birthed in the grill of my local McDonald’s that cannot be found anywhere else. Take, for instance, the PickleBurger. The PickleBurger was requested by a friend and created by the power of planning, execution, and S. McQuaid. The request was for “a Double Quarter Pounder with more pickles than meat”. Some might quail at a request like this. I did not. The PickleBurger was produced, and approved, and consumed over the course of a half hour.

The secret of the PickleBurger is LAYERS. In order to construct the beast, strict layering protocols were followed. For the first time, I am revealing the hidden recipe to you, the gentle reader.

—————> Top Bun (with sesame seeds, of course)
—————> The Intangibles (ketchup and mustard)
—————> Double layer of pickles
—————> Real Onions (the non-dehydrated, natural variety)
—————> Single layer of pickles
—————> One slice Orange Cheese Product
—————> Triple layer of pickles
—————> One all-beef quarter-pound (before cooking) patty
—————> Double layer of pickles
—————> One slice Orange Cheese Product
—————> Triple layer of pickles
—————> One slice Orange Cheese Product
—————> Triple layer of pickles
—————> One all-beef quarter-pound (before cooking) patty
—————> Double layer of pickles
—————> One slice Orange Cheese Product
—————> Triple layer of pickles
—————> One slice Orange Cheese Product
—————> Triple layer of pickles
—————> Bottom Bun

This is just a brief survey of the magnificence that was S. McQuaid in the McDonald’s grill. I certainly hope that you, the gentle reader, are edified and informed, and perhaps even a tear was shed during this stroll down Memory Lane.

The first challenge of the Ultimate Blogger championship was to put together a pitch. Each of the contestants had to pitch something. The decision for me was clear. With my affinity for drawing My Little Ponies, it was only natural for me to try and sell the idea of mechanized military fighting ponies.

Here’s my submission:

My Little Pony is a phenomenon that took the United States by storm in the early 1990’s*. These little toy ponies were by far the coolest toys for young girls and effeminate boys countrywide. NOT only could you get the ponies, you could get cloud castle, and all sorts of hair accessories that you could use to turn your pony into the hottest pony on this side of the Prime Meridian. In the Ultimate Blogging world of My Little Ponies, Zoe would probably have the most impressive end result. It’s all about product.

The obvious evolutionary step for these cute ponies would be to turn them into mechanized military fighting machines. With governments spending all sorts of research dollars on robotic warriors, why not take advantage of a design that will likely bring extreme fear into the hearts of the unexpecting.

As usual, I made an MSPaint image. Check it out:

Now, don’t be confused… these wouldn’t be toys. They would be life sized my little pony death machines. We could send ‘em into dangerous mystical countries like ‘Austria’ and ‘Canadia’ to seek and destroy all things evil. They would obviously be powered by rainbows and pneumatics and be able to withstand heavy machine gun fire and tank piercing rounds. Complete with Jet Packs and guns that make you go ‘mmm,’ these ponies will leave you wishing your TNMT pizza van was turbo. They might not be the cheapest weapons of mass destruction, but I assure you they would be the most pretty.

*it was pointed out by a few of the other contestants that my time frame here is all wrong. My Little Pony has dominated the shelves of toy-stores everywhere for far longer than 16 years.

I hope my submission is well received by the Blogging Superstars. I put my heart into that one. I hope that all of you will check out the other entries here. I’ve been talking to a few of these bloggers more intensly, and I have to say… if I am anything like them, than I have fulfilled all sorts of childhood dreams.