Lent. Darn.
Well, today’s ash wednesday. That means Lent.
Lent is a 40 day period leading up to Easter when us Catholics give up stuff we like (or start doing nice things that we hate doing) as a show of our dedication to the Chief upstairs..
So, this year I will be giving up* Soda (not a difficult task)**, junk food***, and Desserts**** (Lord help me).
As a Lentin kickoff, I just scarfed down the last chocolate that I would be having for 40 days. I will be sure to keep you all updated on my progress/sanity.
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footnotes
* If someone offers me an item that I have given up and it is impolite to refuse, I am allowed a temporary hiatus from Lent. Also, if anyone taunts me or tempts me maliciously, I am allowed to kick them in the face.
** If staying awake is a matter of life and death, I am allowed a single caffeinated soda. But I must drink it as fast as humanly possible so that I will get zero pleasure from the beverage. Later, I must donate 5 bucks to a charity of my choice.
*** Donuts are allowed if and only if they are provided by my work place because the hope for free donuts is sometimes the only thing that gets me through the day. Donuts with filling are not allowed. Boston Creme/Chocolate eclaire donuts are completely off limits. Donuts with sprinkles and/or a glaze are acceptable.
**** “Desserts” does not include any ice cream product, nor any dessert (sans chocolate) that is eaten as breakfast. Example: apple pie for breakfast is okay. apple pie after a meal is not. Ice cream with chunks is allowed, however ice cream can not be used as a carrier of other delicious desserts. Example: Putting a desired Cadbury cream egg into a bowl of ice cream does not make it legitimate. Sherbets, Italian ice, Slush, Dots, and Sorbets are all considered members of the ice cream family despite their lack of lactos. No toppings are allowed on the ice cream. Whip Cream is allowed on waffles and pancakes only. Chocolate chips can be eaten in pancakes, muffins, and bagels. Chocolate protein shakes are allowed. I reseve the right to edit or add to this list of restrictions/exceptions at any time.
