PUMPKIN UPDATE!

well, thank you all for voting in the pumpkin contest. The real contest winner was #1. which, I’m ashamed to say, was Pam’s. 2nd prize went to number 2. third prize was number 8.
Mine was #7 and didn’t even place.

My heart sinks because I don’t feel it was a true showing of skill on behalf of the stencil users.
two analogies of the stencil using jerks folks:
1. submitting a handwritten copy of Mary Shelly’s Frankenstein into a “write a short story” contest
2.bringing in Oreos to a cookie contest

so there you have it. You can keep your winnings you stencil using cheaters people. Make sure to save some of it to buy your stencils for next years contest. We wouldn’t want you to have to be creative.

In other news:
I saw the movie Ray last night. It was extremely good. I’m not usually very emotional during movies but I broke down like a 6 year old girlscout at numerous times during the film. I found it extremely powerful. I think it was probably the combination of the extremely good music and the excellent acting skills on behalf of Jamie Foxx and the other actors. mike d gives RAY 4 stars.

I’ve been having a bit of friction with the tolls lately. Yesterday I was driving home from CT and I hit the 50 cent toll on the mass pike. Much to my surprise, upon reaching the tolls I found I had only 45 cents. I drove up to the lady and said:

“I only have 45 cents… do you want to send me the bill for the full 50 cents? or is this 45 cents okay?”
she replied: “You’re probably going to go out after this, and you’re just trying to cheat the tolls.”
I said: “I’m sorry, I assure you I only have this 45 cents.”
after a long pause of counting out my 45 cents she said: “fine. you can go. I don’t buy it though.”

When I got home, I went to the bank because I had to pay another toll on my way to NH today. I got 40 dollars. When I got to the toll booth I handed the dude a 20.
“I’m sorry sir. this is the smallest bill I have.”
“SUUUURE it is.” he said sarcastically, “that’s what they all say”
“they do?”
“you people think you can use the tolls as a bank.”

What’s the deal? Too little money? I get attitude. Too much money? same thing.

stupid tolls.

Vote for your favorite in the Comments!

Firstly, I convinced our company to have a pancake breakfast, and we pulled it off flawlessly this morning.

Here are a few photos of the cooking excitement and a haiku to describe each photo

Mike D stands whipping
sharply focused on his task
anxious for success

this duo plays tough
whipping and flipping magic
no one left hungry

pour that mix mike d!
there are hungry mouths to feed!
ray stop goofing off!

AND NOW! THE PUMPKIN UPDATE!

I’m disgusted!! Of the seven or eight pumpkins entered only THREE were done without a professionally made stencil. Coworkers, I am ashamed of you! What talent is shown when you are told exactly where to cut. It’s like submitting a paint-by-number into a painting contest. THE GALL!

I think this disgusting twist will lead me to a terrible defeat. However, I stand strong because of the three home-made pumpkins, I truly feel that mine is the best. I’ll post the pumpkin pictures shortly.

I think more people need to know this:
Tmesis: Inserting a word in the middle of another. “Hoo-bloody-ray” and “un-freaking-believable.”

woo! red sox rock!

Did anyone else notice the strange similarities in appearance between the Cardinals pitcher Jason Isringhausen and Merry the hobbit from the lord of the rings trilogy?

this isn’t the best picture. last night it was even more noticeable.
if you could stuff merry’s hair into a Cardinals hat… it’d be the same person.

Indian co-worker Vishal: we also add a type of nut. it’s sweet.
mike d: cashew?
V: nope. definitely not a cashew.
coworker Galecki: you sure it’s a nut?
V: yes. it’s a nut. it’s sweet and a bit soft on the inside
mike d: almond? pecan? you’re sure it’s a nut?
V: it’s a nut, I don’t remember the word for it
Galecki: walnut?
V: no. it has a liquid on the inside.
mike d: Liquid on the inside?!?
coworker Pam: Coconut?!
V: no. it’s not a coconut. I’ll show you a picture later you can tell me the word for it.
mike d: you sure it’s a nut? if you show us a picture of broccoli I’m going to rag on you to no end.
V: ::laughs:: yes. I’m sure it’s a nut. it’s sweet and soft on the inside.
Galecki: and it’s not a cashew? cashews are kind of sweet and put into lots of foods.
V: no, it’s not a cashew.
mike d: peanut?
V: no…
Pam: wait… a raisin?
V: Yes. that’s it. It’s a raisin.
mike d: V, that’s not a nut. it’s a dried fruit.
V: yes, dried fruit.

stunned silence.

mike d: you know that raisins are dried grapes.
V: yes I knew that.
::pause::
V: oh wait, no I didn’t know that.

We deal with this every single day.

Pam walks up to me urgently.

Pam: so, if the red sox game is tonight… and the lunar eclipse is tonight… what’s going to happen to the game when everything gets dark?
mike d: ::stares at Pam blankly::
Pam: they have lights don’t they.

3 points for anyone who can guess Pam’s hair color!

12 mikedidonato points to jon abad for finding this gem:
http://www.jonabad.com/storage/cat.mov

We went to the beach today for lunch. I was down by the water skipping stones when coworker Galecki came on the beach and threw the frisbee towards me. The wind brought it way up… over my head… and down into the water about 30 feet offshore.

We all looked sadly at the frisbee, floating in the water, us with our dress clothes on.

We watched it for a bit as the wind pushed it out another 40 feet or so. Then I decided to go get it.

I ordered co-worker pam to go get her blanket from the car. Off came the shirt + tie. The shoes the socks. The pants came off too. Then I charged into the water.
keep in mind, it’s october 26th.
the water got deep fast. About 10 feet off shore I could no longer touch the bottom. About 15 feet off shore I was hit with the ridiculous cold of the water. My chest contracted and I could no longer breath easily, a rush of nausea struck. I immediately gave up, turned around, and swam as fast as I could out of the water. No frisbee in hand. Just a cold drenched mike d in his soaked boxer shorts.

I quickly grabbed the blanket and shivered for a few minutes. Drying myself in the lukewarm sun.

Sometimes I’m stupid. I admit it. This was one of those times.

mike d vs. atlantic ocean.
mike d: zero
ocean: 1

Wow. Suddenly being from Massachusetts isn’t so bad.
www.votepair.com

On a side note I did end up voting this past weekend. But still, I felt like it was a complete waste of time. Why did I vote? beats me. For some unknown reason I felt guilty not voting.

my problem is that I think the current voting system is flawed. I kind of feel guilty having voted, thus participating in a system that I don’t fully support. really though, I guess I’m not one to talk. because I have yet to come up with a better system. When I do, I’ll let y’all know.

You can be sure that my system will have at least these two improvements:
1. The candidate debate process would involve a halo showdown
2. When you cast your vote you get a free bag of jelly beans.

ahh Jelly beans. Nature’s candy.

Well, my workplace is having a pumpkin carving contest. As usual, when I decide to participate in an event, I usually go overboard. So I plan on making my pumpkin overly exciting.

I expect the competition to be tight, so I’ve already purchased my trial carving pumpkin. I’m going to try and document my progress online. expect wonders.

Last night I had a dream.

Scene: Fenway park. It had just recently been remodeled. It was not nearly as cool.

People:
Me.
Childhood friend Steve Werlin.
Worker at the Rock Climbing Gym Paulina.

Factoids:
1. Steve was having relations with Paulina. This isn’t quite as crazy as it would be in real life because in my dream Steve wasn’t engaged and Paulina wasn’t married.
2. Steve played trombone. (he really plays sax)
3. Paulina also played trombone.
4. In order to get into the bathrooms at Fenway you had to squeeze through a door 7 inches wide.
5. Steve played for the red sox.

Dream:
I was searching Fenway for a bathroom. I hadn’t been able to squeeze my head into the door at the main bathroom stalls so I was extremely annoyed. I REALLY had to go. As I’m strolling around the perimiter of the park I find some bushes. I considered going right there, but it was in plain view of the baseball field. Suddenly I notice that Steve Werlin is in the batters box. I hurry to a better place to watch and momentarily forget about the bathroom.

Steve steps up to the plate. Somehow, he’s holding both the baseball bat and his trombone. The crowd grows silent.

the first pitch.

Strike!

Steve, all depressed, raises his trombone straight up into the air above his head he places his lips to the mouthpiece and pops off the first 10 notes of “la cucaracha”
Suddenly, Paulina standing not ten feet to his right raises her trombone to her lips and finishes with the last 7 notes of the song!

this was HILARIOUS in my dream. The whole crowd broke into laughter! everyone was cheering! then… all got quiet for the second pitch.

Strike!

steve again raises his trombone to his lips in the same fashion and throws out the first four notes of Beethoven’s 5th symphony.
Paulina comes through again, playing the NEXT four notes!

Everyone CRACKS up. It was hilarious. I was laughing my pants off.

. . . and I woke up. It turns out I really did have to use the bathroom. So I had to get out of bed. it was 3:45 am.
feel free to leave your interpretation of my dream in the comments.

Last night I had an epic night on the rock walls. I accomplished two 5.10’s. The first I had tried once previously and I reached the top on a single attempt. The second I was trying out for the first time and I only fell once or twice on the way up.

It was a big night folks. a very big night.

Today my fingers ache.

The Question

Dear Shaun

I have a bag of peanuts (with shells) that has been sitting on my desk since the end of august. How long are they good for?? What are the signs that they could be bad??

Comment by Pam — 9/29/2004 @ 12:10 pm

The Answer

Since they are in the shell, you are in a good place. What really matters is if they are roasted or raw. If they are roasted, you’ve got about 2-3 months until they acquire a will of their own and start to make their presence felt. If they are raw (and I swear I’m not making this up) they can last “indefinitely”. Meaning that raw peanuts have achieved the goal of immortality that mortal man can only dream of. Seriously.

the sox game last night was pretty exciting. I was reviewing the news pages this morning and I came across this victory photo:

Not to put a damper on all the excitement but… Is Cabrera wearing goggles?

I’ve never noticed him wearing goggles before, but then again I don’t watch tons of baseball. Does he regularly wear goggles?
Is it a safety thing or a fashion thing?

because really, I think goggles are a trend of the past.

Recently I started listening to WFNX streaming radio over the internet while at work.

It’s Awesome.

Being that CT has minimal rock radio stations and zero alternative radio stations, online radio provides me an opportunity to listen to some good music. the other great thing is that I really haven’t had exposure to the alternative stations for the past four months so most of the songs on the radio are new to me. I find this extremely exciting.

Speaking of music my car’s radio has also been acting a little funky. ahh well. at least the hunk of metal still drives.

The Question

In the game of water polo, how is it that the poor horses are able to breathe?

Comment by Chris — 9/28/2004 @ 3:28 pm

The Answer

It’s easy because THEY DON’T EXIST. Unless you are referring to the players as “horses”, which is just plain mean.

See, regular polo is indeed a sport where sporting fellows ride horses around and do things with a ball. In its early days, water polo players rode BARRELS around in the pool, instead of horses. Since none of them could move, they did away with the barrels and the whole “fake horse” concept altogether and simply started drowning each other. This became so much of a problem that they had to make rules about keeping the ball above water and not going underwater to keep the number of living water polo players at a level which did not doom the sport. Nowadays water polo has shaken its horsey roots and is simply a bunch of skantily clad guys tossing a ball around in the water.

Pam, my co-worker, put in her two weeks today. Yup. she got a new better job and will be leaving Ttool within the month.

two things come to mind:
1. should I be looking for a better job too?
2. did I drive her to quit?

Firstly, work is pretty good but a lot of my friends have better.
And secondly, I really can be horribly demeaning in my sarcasm and bitter remarks.

News of her quitting has brought up an interesting thing though. One of the other employees, in an effort to convince her to stay, said that we each get a free turkey for thanksgiving.

Free Turkey! Cha-ching!

As much as I dislike the Yankees, I have a lot of respect for Hideki Matsui.

I was discussing the issue with Shamus and we decided that he’s tolerable because he’s not proud. The guy is a monster at bat but he never seems to throw it back in the face of his opponents. I appreciate that.
He also has a jet with his face on it.

a jet.

with his face on it.

Forget the yankees, if that doesn’t warrent a little respect I don’t know what does.
I think I’d lose respect for him though if it turned out he was a robot. He might be. he’s from Japan and their technology is ridonculous. just a thought.

you know? Jon Stewart should run for president.

seriously.

J.S. for Prez. 2008.

Coworker Pam and I were working late on a saturday. As we sat in the test lab placing some bolts on a welder piece, a few lights went off on the opposite side of the plant floor (they are on a timer).

mike d: uh oh.
pam: what?
::pause::
mike d: well. I suppose as long as these lights stay on we’ll be oka–

and with that, the test lab lights went out.

I made some rockin’ risotto last night in my rice cooker. That thing never ceases to amaze. After it magically knew exactly when to turn itself off, it kept the risotto warm for 3+ hrs until my roommate got home. Ladies and Gentlemen, if you weren’t sure before my rice cooker is proof, we live in an age of futuristic wonders.

With this and my new electric griddle, I am going to be unstoppable.

Jesse (a few months ago): when most guys graduate college they get excited about the new car or new stereo system they’re going to buy. All you can say is ‘I can’t wait to get a rice cooker!’

When I sneeze, I sneeze twice. In succession. I call it the double barrel sneeze.
It’s a strange phenomenon. I don’t know why it happens. but it does.
I’ve never met anyone else with the same weird condition.